marriage vows

It is with everlasting devotion that we, Joseph and Sarah L, reunite in the indestructible union of matrimony, promising love until death, with the understanding that the stars are silver nails in the sky, regardless of the existence of a bottom of the Brod, the temperature of this bottom (should it exist), and the possible existence of starfish on the possibly existing riverbed, overlooking what may or may not have been accidental grape juice spills, agreeing to forget that Joseph played sticks and balls with his friends when he promised he would help Sarah thread the needle for the quilt she was sewing, and that Sarah was supposed to give the quilt to Joseph, not his buddy, deeming irrelevant certain details about the story of Trachim's wagon, such as whether it was Chana or Hannah who first saw the curious flotsam, ignoring the simple fact that Joseph snores like a pig, and that Sarah is no great treat to sleep with either, letting slide certain tendencies of both parties to look too long at members of the opposite sex, not making a fuss over why Joseph is such a slob, leaving his clothes wherever he feels like taking them off, expecting Sarah to pick them up, clean them, and put them in their proper place as he should have, or why Sarah has to be such a fucking pain in the ass about the smallest things, such as which way the toilet paper unrolls, or when dinner is five minutes later than she was planning, because, let's face it, it's Joseph who's putting that paper on the roll and dinner on the table, disregarding whether the beet is a better vegetable than the cabbage, putting aside the problems of being fat-headed and chronically unreasonable, trying to erase the memory of a long since expired rose bush that a certain someone was supposed to remember to water when his wife was visiting family in Rovno, accepting the compromise of the way we have been, the way we are, and the way we will likely be... may we live together in unwavering love and good health, amen.*

exactly what i would say. and with this ring, i thee wed.

. . .

thanks to twinkle for lending me her book. thanks to margie for influencing twinkle. thanks to jonathan safran foer for being interesting enough to make margie read his Everything is Illuminated*.

and to mahal, for being a good sport. hehe.

. . .

(this post is in coordination with ym status "getting married". haha. i couldn't tell if they were happy-shocked or just plain-shocked or even distressed-shocked.)

what?!

*skips off happily*

. . .

*comes running back*

no, we're not.

but you can start thinking of what to wear so no one complains about not finding the perfect dress/suit and the perfect pair of shoes to go with the outfit. and having the money to buy all that, of course.

*winks*

. . .

(edit) in reaction to those who, uh, reacted: no, i'm not forcing avi to do anything. it's just a thought, something i woke up with. okay?

*phew*