playing pretend

music: frou frou - let go

for my creative pose for the yearbook last year, i playfully peered from behind a rather fancy mask. the truth is, i'm not one to pretend with other people. the truth is, i wear my mask at home.

let me tell you this: my family doesn't know me half as well as they think they do. they do not know that i have a fondness for erotica. they do not know that i do not believe in religion. they do not know that i have had a boyfriend for almost two years now.

they do not even know who i really am, free from their impositions and expectations.

let me say now that i have major issues (and grievances) with my mother. you cannot imagine how i long to leave her house and (finally) live my own life.

and before you say or even think that, "hey, she's your mom," remember that you know nothing about my life. i do not want to hear what you have to say if it will just be a hashed-out lecture on being patient or understanding or some other cliche. i am so tired of cliches. get your own blog and write them there.

more than anything, i am so sick of pretending. and in my own "home" of all places. i would sooner vomit the truth than stomach any more of this pathetic drama.

mothers' day is coming up in a few weeks. tension.