stripped bare

music: world radio hour - putumayo

there is a little monster beneath my desk. he is eating me alive: tugging at my pant leg, nibbling on my toes, digging his teeth into my ankles.

haha, sounds like the beginning of some really weird erotica. but it's true; puppy (apparently, we've more or lessed settled on this incredibly-generic name) came to work with us because the maid left for a well-deserved vacation in her province. i imagine this is how it feels like to bring a kid to work. except the pee-wiping, poop-scooping part.

i was out all day yesterday, running errands in manila, stopping for a quick lunch in binondo, rushing to an interview at the enterprise in makati. oh, this new job opportunity is anything but boring. but i'll only say this once:

i'm this close to becoming a certified, honest-to-goodness fag-hag. i swear.

i'll leave off the details until i have actual bragging rights (ie., the job) but it should prove to be a most interesting foray. they keep asking me if i'll be comfortable working for the gay market. of course! i'm all for freedom of expression and i have respect for all people, regardless of class, race, religion or sexual preference. i'm not sure how i'll tell my mom, though, as with a million other things. oh well.

oh, and they asked me if the sight of (semi)naked men bother me. hell, no! haha! but the feminine physique looks better, more sensual, i think. biases for my gender aside, i've rarely seen a male nude that looked half as beautiful. while we were in baguio, coach and i were having a feminist discussion and he complained that there was nothing "nice" about the male body. boxy figure, muscles (if you're lucky) and a weird hanging thing. *eyebrow shoots up*

but, to be fair, here is my favorite male nude photo by ruven afanador. hehe, notice how feminine the composition still is. i think afanador is gay. his sombra and torero collections are styled just so. go have a look-see.

all i wanted to say in this post is that i'm not one to condemn or judge people. i know what it's like to feel and/or be misunderstood. in a sense, i am also in a closet of sorts, hiding who i am and whom i love and what i believe in from my family. my astrological reading says that the aquarius is known for unconventionality, which i see so much in myself these days. and i am happy to be as i am. happy that i am different and not just another sheep in the flock.

here i am, dear reader, just as i am. a real oddball from childhood. oh, i can go on and on about what a weird kid i was and how much weirder i'm becoming. coach once told me: you're an odd girl. i've always liked that word 'odd', right up along with 'queer'. and this was in gradeschool, before the latter came to be associated with homosexuality.

den. different. deviant. de-lovely?