confessional

it's been quite a long while since my last post. it's been quite a long while since i've written anything.

a lot has happened during my (unintended) hiatus from blogging. it feels strange now to attempt to write about what transpired during these past few weeks and though i'm not obliged to justify my absence, i have an exhibitionist-like tendency to flash people with certain intimate details of my life.

as i've said, a flash: my family now knows about my boyfriend and i've finally gotten out of a certain institution which i had long been unhappy with.

i've caused much pain and much tears in the process, some of them my own. i've hurt and been hurt. but that's life for you, dear reader. and i think that was the point wappy was trying to drive in the previous entry.

it's not insensitive to say so. and in that regard, i would like to say that i am happy: i am happy about not having to lie or pretend anymore. i am happy about being home on weekends and on wednesday evenings. i am happy about being able to tell them of my expensive dinner date and the adorably funny guy who paid for it.

i am also deliriously happy to realize that i am truly well-loved.

a pot of tall, white lilliums stand as the sala table's centerpiece in my makati home. mom bought them last saturday because she remembered that i had long wanted to get some. and this happened in the midst of the hullabaloo i caused.

the huge blooms are almost assaultingly fragrant and it wafts around the house, a reminder of invisible but ever-present love.

. . .

on a lighter note, i stumbled upon an interesting development in cosmetic surgery: female genital make-overs. what particularly caught my eye was the hymen replacement procedure that mostly caters to women with strong religious and ethical values (or is it pressure?).

i say, damn patriarchal societies! i'm inclined to encode the entirety of arnold azurin's essay the hyper-valuated (or was it hyper-valued?) hymen, which i found while researching for my thesis. i seriously believe that women of all ages should read it. unfortunately, the text is at home and far from reach. perhaps i'll publish it here for my next entry. perhaps.

let's take a poll of sorts: tag me if you want to see a male-written yet seemingly feminist text on this blog. dagat!