sense and sensibility

my mom has a morning ritual of sorts when we drive off to work and school. one of us reads the daily bread out loud then each says a prayer for a minute or so. last friday, the passage quoted was from jude 1:17-21. i was half-asleep when my brother was started but i jolted awake when he got to verse 19: these are sensual persons, who cause divisions, not having the spirit (new king james version).

wha--? what’s wrong with being sensual? and for the record, we are all of us, with some exceptions, sensual creatures. as human beings, we see, hear, touch, taste, smell. even those with physical impairments are not completely devoid of such a capacity. i remember the story of helen keller, a deaf-blind who, as a young girl under the tutelage of anne sullivan, squealed with delight at the sensation of cold water rushing through her outstretched hands. sullivan then pressed the braille spelling on her palm and the incident marked the beginning of keller's education.

i’ve often been told what a sensual person i am: i love all things beautiful, enjoy a wide variety of music, marvel at the life-warmth of my beloved’s hand, indulge in food and more food, and have a habit of sniffing things for fun. in this, perhaps the extremely dogmatic would charge me with fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, because i have a body and i regale in the sensations it affords me. and i’m sure i’m not alone.

perhaps it is merely a problem of terminology but i should think that the translators would be extremely careful with the words they used. one of the things i question about christianity is the idea of self-denial, particularly with regard to “the flesh”. it says nothing of excesses, if that was what it seeks to address. lust, after all, does not necessarily suggest sexual urgings exclusively. it is synonymous with desire and want, ache and longing, and is as natural as our ability to sense.

to make sense is to be logical and rational. to have sense is to be meaningful and significant. one who is called sensible may also be considered as wise or mindful. all these connote an awareness or a consciousness that is integral to being alive. what then is one to make of the command to die to the flesh, to die to the self? once upon an ignorantly-blissful time, i thought i understood this christian principle. well, i thought wrong.

i have nothing against christianity, which i still profess to believe in, or the bible for that matter. i just happen to have an awful lot of questions i’d be quite happy to hurl at the next finger-pointing, self-righteous, religious-to-the-point-of-fanaticism person who comes along. which, by the way, never seem to be in shortage. the only reason i haven’t is because i’m sensible enough to hold my tongue and spare the destruction of their utopia.

. . .

last night, i went to tavern on the square in greenbelt for the cerveza negra boss nova night. performing was guarana, a great local band bossa nova band fronted by my tita's friend eileen sison who's also a fabulous dancer. earlier that evening, we attended her samba class in steps-pasong tamo and it was so much fun to gyrate my hips and do simple but incredibly sexy steps.

i hope we go back next week. i'm still trying to get rid of belly fat, which won't flatter the new bikini i bought recently. if you're interested in samba lesson or brazilian music and dances, you can visit the steps studio or join the free classes they conduct along baywalk, manila every sunday, 3 to 7pm. otherwise, you can catch guarana's gigs in cafe havana and in mezze, greenbelt.